You feel like you are trapped inside the box. How did you get there? How will you get out?
- Fact: Contentment does not come from nor create anxiety.
- Fact: Anxiety will, by its nature, try to force you stay “inside the box.”
- Conclusion: Contentment cannot be found “inside the box.”
So many times, I have passed on an opportunity or just eventually decided not to even look for opportunities, because I was stuck in the anxiety of change. My mind wonders: what if something goes wrong? What if I get into an accident on the way there? What if I regret spending my time doing that? Consequently, I stay inside the box and do nothing new. I am held back by the fear of “what if,” because anxiety is paralyzing. How does anyone escape the anxiety box?
What Does it Look Like Inside the Box?
Generally, staying inside the box looks mundane in the best way. It looks like the everyday, ordinary routines and to-do lists we know we can manage. While sitting in our box, we may sometimes feel a bit claustrophobic. We overlook the claustrophobia, though, because we also feel safe, secure, confident, and comfortable. Inside the box, we know where we are, what we are doing there, and who else is there with us. Chiefly, it is easy to navigate. Our surroundings are familiar, so we feel like nothing can harm us, even though we know intellectually that isn’t true. If sitting inside the box really feels so good, why do we want out so badly?
Get Out of the Box and Be Free!
This is indeed the hard part. You know that feeling of having a long, time-consuming task in front of you? Those tasks aren’t necessarily the difficult kind. Nonetheless, they are long and boring. The hardest part in this case is usually getting started.
After resting comfortably in your box for so long, climbing out can be difficult. In fact, you may fall back in a few (dozen) times. But once you are out, you see a world of new possibilities. There are trips to take, business endeavors to try, people to meet, hobbies to explore. The list goes on. Often, I have been so worried about what could potentially so wrong, that I just do nothing. I don’t try that new thing. I don’t go to that place I’ve never been. Thinking bigger and better isn’t on my radar, because bigger and better won’t fit inside the box. Even the recipes that look so delicious sit in my online files because I’ve never used some of those ingredients. Why am I afraid? What’s the worst that could happen? How likely is it, really, that the worst thing WILL happen?
Pulling Others Inside the Box
Remember when I said you know who’s inside the box with you? It may be because you either put them there or followed them there. Many people I have talked to about this, have followed their parents into the box. Some have followed a spouse or a friend into the box. The scariest part, however, is that most of them feel (or know for a fact) that they are pulling the people they love most into the confines of their own fears alongside them. We (I say we, because I am one of them) are teaching our children to be afraid of adventure and teaching to think small. We are holding our spouses back from something that we are too afraid to try and feel guilty, but we know how safe the box is. Or is it?
The Box Is a Scam!
Do you know what’s in the box with us? Yep. A clock. We are wasting our lives in a paralyzed state of anxiety under the pretense of safety. I heard someone in a podcast recently say something to the effect of, “Don’t base your big decisions on fear.” Undoubtedly, you’ve heard it a thousand times, and I have too. I’m not sure why this was the time I really decided to listen to it. Maybe I had opened the top of my box enough to let some sense fall in. I don’t know. But this is a concept I am trying to use to make some big decisions in the near future.
Sometimes we have legitimate fears that need to be heard. Don’t touch the fire; it will burn! Following a stranger into a van to pet the puppies will not end well. Some fears are legitimate. Some are not. One fear I had recently was planning an amazing vacation opportunity. Why in the world would that be scary? Anxiety. The plane or cruise ship might go down. We might get attacked by sharks. What if we get lost? But (and this is a big but) I will no longer teach my children to be afraid of doing awesome things. Some of those things might be mission trips!
What Will We Teach Our Children?
I want to show my kids that the world is as big as they want it to be. There are always new things to learn and new places to see. I really don’t want to hinder their service to God because I’ve taught them to give into fear at every turn. Will bad things happen? Bad things will happen whether you wear your seatbelt while you sit inside the box or you decide to climb out. I don’t say that to be depressive. I say that as a reality check. Yes, bad things will happen. You know what though? Good things can and do happen inside the box, but great things are outside waiting for us.
Ready for Freedom
I am ready to get out of the box, are you? How do you know if you are finally ready? Does your safe little box feel more like a jail cell lately? Are you desperately wanting to stretch your legs and take a deep breath? You are certainly ready. Now is the time to take the trip. Today is the day to sign up for classes or apply for that promotion. It is time to try out new hobbies or make new friends. Surely, it is time to say goodbye to “inside the box” and hello to freedom.